A Different Take on New Year’s Resolutions

By | December 29, 2006

Well, it’s that time of year —

  • lots of leftovers;
  • major sales of picked-over goods; and
  • commercials for diet plans, diet pills, and health clubs every 30 seconds.

Insult is added when the Valentine candy was put on sale the day before Christmas!

The more insightful among us use these final days of the year to reflect on the past and plan for the future.

The most common resolutions in the U.S. are (order may vary by region):

  1. exercise more,
  2. lose weight,
  3. get out of debt,
  4. quit smoking,
  5. quit drinking,
  6. spend more time with family,
  7. get organized,
  8. learn something new (read or go back to school),
  9. find balance in life, and
  10. help others more.

Noble, yes! All these things require so much discipline! Sounds like more work to me. Fortunately, I’m 50% there with the common resolutions — can you guess which half? I figured that to only have 5 resolutions would defeat the purpose, so I’ve come up with 10 new resolutions for the year.

Here are my resolutions (or should I say “aspirations”) for 2007:

  1. I will toss the burnt garlic bread out the kitchen window before the smoke alarm goes off.
  2. I will hit the snooze button no more than twice before starting the day.
  3. I will remember all the logins and passwords that I use on the internet.
  4. I will not buy any crack houses this year.
  5. I will complete the sleep study and do what’s necessary so that my apnea won’t wake hubby at night.
  6. I will learn to hip hop dance in a way that will impress my kids.
  7. I will do another stand-up comedy routine in public.
  8. I will embarrass my kids in public.
  9. I will laugh more.
  10. I will share my dazzling wit with family, friends, and anyone who crosses my path.

I wish you and yours a New Year filled with wonder, wisdom, love, great health, and prosperity.

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